The Bible According to My Son, Who Likes Both The Exodus and Dora the Explorer


1     When Pharoah learned what Moses had done he rose to kill him, but Moses fled to the desert.

2     The LORD sought Moses in the desert, but could not find him.

3     He could not find him wherever he looked. The LORD looked over here, and also over there.

4     And the LORD said, “I can’t find Moses no matter where I’m looking.” So he went to ask Dora.

5     Dora spoke unto the LORD, “I know how to find Moses. Check the map.”

6     And the MAP spoke unto the LORD saying, “If there’s a place you got to go, I’m the one you need to know,”

7     “I’m the map. I’m the map. I’m the map.”

8     The LORD thanked Dora very nicely and then he found Moses. “There you are,” He said.

9     “You’ve got to go back to Pharaoh, Moses. Otherwise you’re going to be in big trouble. I’m going to get mad at you, I’m going to yell and scream at you. And you have to tell Pharaoh: ‘Pharaoh, you’re a bad guy.’ Tell him that.”

10     And then the LORD went with Dora and they had arroz con leche with abuela and they sang songs and had fun.